Owner of a Lonely Heart
I read the words after I have slowly and methodically tapped them out onto the screen of my Blackberry. A tear rolled down my cheek as I reread them. I had cared deeply for Joaquin since the first time we had talked. I felt we were kindred spirit in this crazy world. But as time progressed things between Joaquin and I had slowly disintegrated . We went from talking for hours on end, to never talking at all, only through text messages if even through that much.
I sighed as I comtemplated sending the text message. Finally, I decided against it. Sending a text message to break up with someone was just plain tacky. I cleared the screen and called Joaquin. When I almost automatically got sent to voicemail I wasn't even surprised anymore. I pressed three and went on to leave my message with a voice full of tears. My chest was burning and my head was pounding. I was still trying to rap my mind around what went wrong. I didn't smother Joaquin, I let him do his thing. I wasn't jealous. I just really didn't understand what went wrong.
I picked up a cardboard box filled with things from Joaquin or things I had borrowed from him. A Pirates fitted, a Coogi T-shirt, a few mixtapes, and Malcom X's biography. I grabbed my purse and my keys and headed out the door. I threw the box into the backseat of my car and headed towards Joaquin's crib.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I pulled up to Joaquin's apartment complex and his car wasn't there. However, I did see his roommate Malik's car outside. I grabbed the box and went up to the front door, and rung the doorbell. I could hear Malik moving behind the door and finally the door swung open. I tossed the box into Malik's arms and through tears I shouted, "Give this to Joaquin" and took off running down the stairs back to my car. But Malik was hot on my heels, "Judah what in the hell is wrong with you?" Malik questioned as he tightly grabbed my arm. "Your roommate is what is wrong!"
"Calm down, Judah." "Malik, why doesn't Joaquin not give a fuck about me anymore? Tell me that!" Malik looked as if he was really thinking about the question, "Listen Judah do you want to talk about this or something? Like go around the corner to Gary's or something?" I thought about it for a moment, "Umm okay." "OK, well let me go throw a shirt on and we can go. Cool?" "Yeah that's cool."
Gary's was a little quiet bar and restaurant down the block from Joaquin's apartment. Malik and I walked the distance, our walk was silent but I could tell he wanted to ask me something. Malik was most definitely fine, he was about 6'3, brown-skin, blessed with sexy fulls lips and a smile that would make you melt if you weren't careful, dreadlocks that hung to his shoulders, and sexy tattooed arms. He had a sexy southern accent from growing up in Louisiana.
We sat down and grabbed a corner table in Gary's. We sat silently for a few minutes, "What's going on Judah?" I shook my head as I thought about the question, "Malik I wish I could tell you. I mean Joaquin and I started off so strong, you know? I don't know what has happened since now and then. Instead of getting stronger, we have just gotten weaker and weaker. I'm so like what the fuck right now. " Malik nodded his head as I spoke, "I mean Judah I can't really speak on you and Joaquin except to say this. Joaquin is and was a player. I was happy as hell for him, when ya'll got together because I thought maybe he was finally ready to settle down but then I feel he went back to his old ways. I hate to say this but I think he got bored with the whole relationship thing, ya dig?" I wiped a tear away from my cheek, "But Malik, why couldn't he just tell me that? Today I woke up with my eyes swollen from crying all night because he stood me up last night for dinner. And when I tried to call him he had the balls to send me right to voicemail. Joaquin just made me feel so lonely and empty. I'm so sick of his shit."
"Judah, listen I'm sorry things have ended up like this between ya'll but Joaquin is my boy I really can't speak negative against him. But I'm going to say this much, you are beautiful, smart, ambition, and sexy. You are going to find the one for you."
I don't know if it was my second Blue Motorcyle talking or what but I looked into Malik's sexy brown eyes and then down at his full lips, and I knew I had wanted it opps I meant to say him. It had been a month and three weeks since I had last had sex. Joaquin stopped even acting like he wanted to have sex with me. Nothing I had done for the last three months had been good enough for him; I didn't fuck good enough, I didn't dress good enough, I didn't look good enough, I didn't cook good enough, nothing I did was fucking good enough for him.
"Thanks Malik, I appreciate that." "No problem, Ju." I called the waitress over to get the check. I reached into my purse for my debit card, but Malik gently touched my hand with his. At that moment I swear I felt electricity course through my body. "Nah Judah please let me get it, you've had a bad enough day already." I let a small smile spread across my face, "Thanks. Let me leave the tip at least." "Cool, cool."
Once we got up I realized how tipsy I actually was. "Umm Judah I don't think you need to drive home." "I can make it." "No you can't. Let me drive you home."
As we got back to the apartment, Joaquin still wasn't there. Malik took the keys to my car and got into the driver's seat. "How are you going to get home?" "I can take the bus." "Oh okay." As we pulled up into my driveway, Malik noticed my porch light was out. "Let me walk you to your door, Judah." "I can make it." "Nah let me walk you, you know that guy is on the lose." "Oh please I got something for that fool if he tries to fuck with me." I said as I pulled my pepper spray out my purse. Malik burst out laughing, "Oh yeah that will work great against his knife." "Oh shut up." I said with a giggle.
Malik got out and walked me to my door. I looked up and into his eyes, "Umm Malik thanks for everything. I really appreciated it, whether you know it or not." Malik touched my arm, "No problem, Judah, anytime you need me you got the number." Suddenly a thick silence filled the air, I decided to make my move, it was either now or never. I wrapped my arms around his neck and bought his face closer to mine. When our lips touched I thought my eyes were going to roll back in my head. His lips felt just that good, I thought Malik was going to pull away but instead he pulled me closer. His hands moved from my arms down to the bottom of my ass cheeks, followed by him grabbing them. I ran my fingers through his dreads and placed my hand on the back of his head.
I pulled away long enough to unlock my door. I pulled Malik into my apartment by the collar of his shirt. I kicked my sandals off at the door and slammed into. I took his hand and led him to my bedroom. I pushed him down onto my bed and got on top of him. I looked down into his eyes and I could see he wanted me as bad as I wanted him. I slowly ran my tongue across the tattoo of a name on his neck. He was palmed my ass through the thin material of my dress. I could feel his dick stiffening through his True Religion jeans. I could feel Malik feeling for the clasp on the back of my halter top dress, once he unhooked it my dress fell to my waist, leaving my breasts bare, revealing my twin nipple rings.
Malik bit his bottom lip as he made this discover, then a smile spread across his face. He ran palmed my breasts and then pulled me down so he could give each of them special attention. He ran his tongue from one to the other. I let out a faint moan, as my desire for him grew. I hadn't realized how much my body needed this attention until this very moment. Malik flicked his tongue from one nipple to the other, I couldn't believe it when I came from that alone. I got up long enough to let Malik kick off his shoes and take off his shirt, revealing his tatted chest and arms. All the tattoos read the same thing in my mind: fuck me.
I looked at the growing bulge in his pants and I knew I was in for a hell of a night. Malik grabbed my ankles and pulled me to the edge of the bed. He pulled my dress down over my hips, revealing the fact I had opted not to wear panties today. Malik eyes met my gaze, as I ran my foot across his chest and motioned with my finger for him to come closer. Malik slowly started kissing my calves making his way up to my inner thighs. Malik made circles with his tongue along my thighs. My legs began to shake with anticipation. Malik preceded to eat my pussy like it was his last meal. My hand gripped the back of his head. I screamed out in pleasure as I came back to back. By the time Malik was done, my head was spinning.
I pulled Malik down on the bed with me. I quickly unbuckled his pants and threw them to the floor. I pulled his boxers down revealing exactly what I had been fiending for. I ran my tongue from the base to the tip. I slowly took it into my mouth and started bobbing my head up and down. I looked up at the Malik face an expression of pure ecstasy spread across it. I twirled my tongue around his dick, making him quiver as he came.
I ran my tongue across his chest, tracing his tattoo of a cross. I could feel his dick hardening against my thigh. Malik picked me up and laid me on my back and got on top of me, kissing me on my neck down to my navel and back. I bit my bottom lip as he entered me and placed my hands on the back of his neck. As he stroked in and out of me I made direct eye contact with him. Malik and I felt so perfect, my moans grew louder and louder as my orgasm came closer. My legs shook as a wave of energy coursed through my body.
I got on top of Malik and started riding him. I moved my hips in a rhythmic motion, while Malik had his arms tightly around my waist. His eyes never left mine. The only noise in the room was our panting and the bed spring squeaking.
Malik gripped me tighter as he came. I found myself collasping on his chest. Both of us were covered in sweat. I got up and headed to the shower, followed by Malik. Inside the shower, Malik pinned me up against the wall of the shower and wrapped my legs around his waist. Before I knew it my fingernails were digging into his back. I let go because I knew that wasn't the business.
Finally, Malik and I ended up back in bed once the shower ran cold. I cuddled up with Malik to stay warm. Then our moment was interupted by my cell phone ringing to Joaquin's ringer. I thought deeply before answering the phone, I picked up and didn't say a word. I could hear Joaquin's voice on the other, "Hello? Hello? Judah are you there?" "I'm here Joaquin what do you want?" "What the fuck is going on? First I get your voicemail, then I get home and I have a box of shit here you borrowed from me. What's the deal Judah?" "This is the deal, Joaquin. Fuck you!" "What do you mean fuck you?" "Joaquin I gave you everything I possibly could to make you happy and it just wasn't good enough plain and simple. I'm moving on with my life, you do the same thing, please."
Malik sat up in the bed and listened to the conversation. He rubbed my arm trying to calm me down. I pressed the end button midway through Joaquin's angry rant. Malik pulled me closer and slowly kissed me. "Good night baby." I cut my phone off after Joaquin calling back three times.
Malik and I ended up making love three more times before the sun came up. I had realized how neglected I had truly been until this night.