“When you're dreaming with a broken heart, the waking up is the hardest part. You roll out of bed and down on your knees, and for a moment you can hardly breathe...” -John Mayer
The words in that song currently are speaking to the depth of my heart. Every night since McKena and I had broken up, visions of her looped in my head all night long. McKena was the love of my life, but I messed up big time.
For my 29th birthday my frat brother Corey who was a perennial playboy had decided to take me to a strip club called The Black Diamond. They basically kidnapped me as soon as I walked out of my office. They didn’t tell me where we were going I didn’t know until we got there. It was asses galore in there. My boys thought it was funny but nothing was laughable about the situation at all to me. I had just proposed to McKena the week before and my boys knew it. I was ready and willing to hang up my player’s jersey for her. I had played the game long enough; I was just wanted to be with my wifey.
My boys convinced me to stay and take in the scenery. That decision turned out to be one of the worst mistakes of my life. First came the liquor, then came the naked dancers, by the time I woke up in a cheap hotel room the next morning I didn't remember a thing. All I knew was that I woke up beside a chick named Candy, Cocoa, or something trashy like that. I just got up put on my clothes and called a cab to take me to my office so I could pick up my car. To my relief McKena wasn't home she was at her routine Saturday hair appointment. I headed into the shower and tried to scrub off the revelry of the night before. I looked at my phone and saw that she had called me numerous times throughout the nightand I hadn't answered a single one. In the back of my mind I was trying to concoct a believable lie.
I quickly dialed her number in my phone so I could call her and try to straighten this whole mess out. A few seconds later, I heard her cell phone ringing in our bedroom. I was so damn mad. I needed to talk to McKena not now, but right now. I went outside, got into my car, and sped all the way to The Edge Hair Salon.
When I pulled into the parking lot I saw McKena's Range Rover parked outside. As I walked inside every single eye in the place was on me. I recognized McKena's tattooed foot attached to a body under. I went over to the hair dryer and lifted the hood. I was shocked to see McKena's face; it was puffy and her eyes were bloodshot and swollen.
"What's wrong baby?" Before she could answer her hairstylist Nathan answered for her, "Uh uh Chris, we need you to leave right now. McKena doesn't want to talk to you." I was so confused, "Wha.." Before I could finish my sentence McKena replied, "It's okay Nathan, I'm going to step outside and talk to Chris for a moment." "Okay sweetie just holler if you need me. " Everybody in the salon responded with a resounding umph as we walked out.
"What's going on McKena?" McKena yelled out shut up. "Chris how could you cheat on me?" My heart started pounding so hard I could feel it in my head, "Wha?" "Don't play dumb Christoper Xavier Curry. My cousin Janine is a dancer at the Diamond. She says you were drunk and all over some of the girls last night. Then you Corey, Michael, Lee, and some of your other boys invited them all back to a hotel last night and ya'll had a grand ole time. Especially you and some broad named Leslie. Don't even try to lie Janine was so very nice to send me pictures of the night's affairs. How could you do this to me? I loved you with all my heart, every since the first moment we met in kindergarten." Tears were rolling down her eyes at this point, "I hate you Chris, I hate you with a passion."
I begged for McKena's forgiveness but she wasn't having it. She just went back in the salon, the receptionist came out and asked me to leave before she called the police, I obliged. I felt my heart die at that exact moment. I got into my car and headed towards Corey's house.
Although Corey was married with two kids, he was still a true player at heart and his wife Monique didn't seem to mind it; she had put up with his ways for years. When I pulled up I saw him silver CLS parked in the driveway. His wife's Suburban was gone. I knocked on the door Corey came to the door looking like stir-fried shit.
"What's good Chris?" "Nothing man recovering from last night Monica and the kids are gone grocery shopping and to the park." "Uh huh." I sat down on the couch in Corey's man cave. "So what's really going on Chris? You look like you've been through it." I put my head in my hands, "My life is over man. McKena fucking left me man, because of you." I could hear the confusion in his voice, "Because of me. What the hell are you talking about?" "Your little kidnap conspiracy." "Man shit! You had a good time, I know you ain't just come out and tell her. Did you?” "Hell no I didn't have to one of her cousins is a dancer there." Corey got excited, "Ohhhhhh shit I knew one of them girls looked like Kena. Ohhhhhh shit man you are fucked." he said with a chuckle. "Corey not shit is funny about this situation. Kena is my life man. I want a future with her."
"Chris, man you are taking this way too serious. Let the situation cool off and re-approach. Kena loves you just as much as you love her, man. You eff'd up I'm not going to lie to you, you eff'd up bad." "Shut up man. Its your fault." "How though man? Look you’re a grown ass man." "Why are you going to take a wifed up man to the strip club and get him drunk?" "Man I can't help the fact you have no self-control. You never have never will even back in college." "True, don't remind me." Corey went into his mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle of Fiji water. "Well man like I said let her cool off. And you two will be okay. Trust me if anybody knows I know. Moe has threatened to kill me before, slashed my fucking tires and everything. But we cool off and we get back right. That's how Corey junior and Alexia got her." "Thanks man." Even though his words were of little comfort to me. I got up and left Corey to his recovery.
From Corey's house I went to the Louis Vuitton store, I knew there was a bag that she’d had her eyes on for months. I walked out of the store with my pockets about $3,000 lighter but it was well worth it to make her happy. I had it gift wrapped and stopped by the flower shopped and picked a bouquet of her favorite flowers. When I arrived back to my house, I was in disbelief as I saw her cousin Joe moving boxes out of my crib.
Kena was sitting on the stoop with her hands in her head. I pulled into the driveway and walked up to her. Tears were running down her face. Her cousin Joe stepped to me. "Yo Chris fall back, Kena ain’t tryna talk to you right now.” Joe was about 6'7, 300 pounds but I wasn't falling back. "No Joe, I love Kena." I tried to run past him but Joe picked me up like a sack of potatoes and dropped me flat on my ass. Joe puffed his chest out and said "I said fall back Chris I'd hate for this shit to get ugly but it can."
Kena got up and ran to her Range Rover and backed out the driveway barely missing the driver’s sad of my car. Joe went to his pick up truck and got in but before closing the door he shook his head and said, "Damn Chris I thought you were a decent dude. How you fuck up like that?”
Before I could answer Joe pulled off the curb and left me standing on the front step. I went into the house and it was obvious every trace of Kena was gone. I looked on the kitchen table and in a decorative glass vase filled with marbles I saw some things that weren't there before. I went over to explore it further, underneath the vase was note. I picked up the note first and read it:
“Christopher you were myeverything from the first day in Ms. Gretta's kindergarten class when we played in the sandbox together. I knew you were the one who'd make me complete. Although it took some almost 15 years for us to get together, I felt it was well worth the wait. You were special you were everything I prayed God would send me in a man, as wonderful as you. Imagine the joy it brought my heart. Now imagine the disappointment and hurt I felt when I couldn't get in touch with you all night long. Then imagine the pain I felt when my cousin called me at 4 this morning with damning evidence against you. Evidence she was all too happy to share with me. I cried all damn morning, matter of fact I'm crying now. Chris I don't want to see you, hear from you. Talk to you. You are out of my life…”
I felt my face grow warm with tears as I went through the contents of the vase: her engagement ring, a picture of us the night we got engaged, and her key to my house. I felt crushed and I could swear I could feel my heart breaking in my chest. Yeah I know I was a man and this type of shit wasn’t supposed to go down. But I knew I fucked up epically. Women like Kena didn’t come around everyday. She was smart, she was humble, she was a lady in public, and handled her business in the sheets. What in the hell had I done? I went upstairs and tried to call Kena; it went straight into her voicemail.
I threw the vase against the wall and watched as it shattered into what seemed like a million pieces. I finally picked up the phone and called Steve, my brother. "Sup bruh?" "Kena left me." Steve was silent for a few seconds, "Why man? What's going on?" "She found out about last night, one of the dancers there is her cousin." "Damn man. Did she seem really mad?" "Damn right she did. She packed her stuff and moved out." "Damn man I'm sorry to hear that I know you two will straighten it out, ya'll have been together since middle school." "Tell me about it man, she's my life." "You gon' be good man?" "I don't know man. I just need to talk to her."
Popular posts from this blog
Foreword to "To Live, Learn, and Die in Halifax Co." : I am a lifestyle writer not a journalist. I normally write about funny stuff: love, life, and a laughter. I like making people laugh not think; I leave that to serious people. When I posted this essay it wasn't to attack anyone and it wasn't to be attacked or chided in return. Normally my posts get about 100 views in a couple of weeks but within two hours of me posting this piece it had over 1000 views. Let me be clear, I am not an expert on schools, I am not an expert on taxation, I am not an expert on the finances of Halifax County. However, anyone with two eyes can look around and see that Halifax County is SUFFERING. I wrote this piece because I have seen the effects that our piss poor schools have had on my generation and all subsequent generations. I spoke about my grandmother's work ethic and her desire to see her children do better not to focus on her parenting. It was to focus on the fact that the
Dreaming With A Broken Heart Part II Three months later.... My life has been pure hell without Kena. She wouldn't return my calls. I even went as far as to go to her parents' house that was damn sure the wrong move I barely escape there without getting my ass whooped by her father who was a former Army drill sergeant. I went to her apartment. She wouldn't answer the door. I went to her job she had security to promptly escort me out. I was truly a man apart. I was sitting at my desk when I got a call from Corey. "Aye man what's up" "Nothing much just sitting in the office.” "Word, well me, Chuck and Kyle are going out Shooters to watch the game tonight. You tryna roll?” Corey had been trying to get me to go out for the past month and I wasn't feeling it. "I think I'm going to chill at the crib and watch it." "Fool you coming out tonight. I'm sick of your ass sitting round the house acting like it's the end
Closed Until Further Notice By: Honey B. Baker The last two years in my dating life have been quite simply a disaster. I have been on a couple dates that made me wonder when a camera crew was going to come around the corner. I have met dudes who were full of potential and others who left much to be desired. Currently, I am jaded, embittered, and tired. For the time being I want to be left alone. My heart and my mind are closed until further notice. Over the past two years, I have endured a series of stinging blows that have wounded me mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I need time to heal.