Is It Bad?

I haven't written in some years and this is my first foray into actually writing in some time. The tentative title of this piece is "Is It Bad?". It tells the story of Zaara Gregory, a young, ambition college graduate who is trying to find her place in life. She is the sister of a notorious drug kingpin. Although, she has all of the materialistic trapping a woman could want her life is lacking in so many other areas including love. Please share your thoughts they are greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Sincerely, Honey

Is It Bad?
Whoever said money couldn’t buy happiness was shopping at the wrong stores. Love, Zaara (XOXO)
As I walked into the Louis Vuitton store I knew it was about time for a new bag. When walked in there I was like a fat kid in a candy store. My eyes were instantly drawn to a shiny red bag with top handles. The sales lady was already licking her chops as she thought about her commission. She knew I was about to drop racks. My face all to familiar in there. “Can I help you, Miss Gregory?” I pointed to the bag that had instantly caught my eye and said, “Yes, Devon I’ll take the red Vernis Alma GM and the matching wallet?” She hurried to the stock room to get my purchase. As she wrapped it up I reached into my yellow crocodile Hermes Birkin bag and pulled out five bundles a thousand dollars in 20s was in each one. An older white woman glared at me as I paid cash money for my purchase and she was stuck window-shopping. Oh well, this was just the life I live.
            I walked around the mall for a little while longer and ended up at Auntie Anne’s stuffing my face. I had really needed this retail therapy after the craziness of the past week. As I left the mall and got into my dark red Mercedes Benz G63 and headed home I tried to figure out what my plan was going to be for the night. I just wanted to go out and have a good time. It was party at a new nightspot called Lux. The owner and my brother was good friends so I knew getting in VIP would be no problem. As I walked into my house it was empty all except for my pit bull, Puff Daddy. I called Ashley to see if she wanted to head to the party with she said that she was down and so were my other girls Jalynne and Megan.
            As we got ready to go out we were straight flexing on Instagram. We knew we looked good. We always had been the baddest chicks on the scene, no competition. We had always been close ever since Mrs. Bell’s kindergarten class. If anything ever popped off I never had to question whether or not they had my back. We were always the flyest women anywhere we set foot. Although we had grown up a lot and moved away from the hood we still we friends and knew our roots. Jalynne was in real estate, Megan owned her own clothing boutique which sold her custom designs out of, Ashley had her own her salon and weave studio, and I was working towards a career as a pharmacist. As we pulled up to the club in Ashley’s S550 all eyes were on us. We headed straight past security into the club and upstairs to VIP.

Chapter 1…
            I wasn’t surprised as I saw my brother Marco and his right hand man Mills enter VIP. I hugged my brother and Mills. My brother Marco had basically raised me and been my caregiver. Both our father and mother had been certified crackheads and had been in the streets as long as I could remember. Our mother was locked up serving a 20-year bid for armed robbery and our dad was dead. He died from AIDS but we’d never known him like that anyway. Marco and I had basically been on our own since he was 11 and I was 6. Our mom popped up here and there but it wouldn’t be long before she was out doing her thing again. But for as long as I could remember Marco has been the one who kept me in line.
My brother had always made sure I went to school and made good grades and he always rewarded me for doing so. When I turned 16 he gave me the keys to a brand new white on white 745. Marco would do anything for me and I’d do anything for him. He had paid my way through school and had always tried to keep me out of the streets. He tried to keep me away from the hoodrat boys, at least the one that were dumb enough to try approach and even though they knew my brother played no games.
My brother protected me but he was too overprotective. He always told me he knew how mean the streets were and he didn’t want me involved with that. That’s why he could have killed me when I’d gotten arrested for shop lifting from Neiman Marcus when I was 12. Yes 12, I dropped off the porch early. Although the charges were dismissed he found every piece of designer gear I owned and burned it in the backyard. He didn’t understand why I had allowed myself to get caught up in that type of shit. He was right it wasn’t even worth it.
            Marco had started working for George “Big George” Franklin around the time he was 10 or 12. I had watched my brother come up in the dope game from nicks and dimes to whole keys. My brother had been knee deep in the games for years and lived a good life as a result. But a few years ago he moved away from the dope money into more legit business ventures. He owned two luxury car dealerships as well as a strip club and a few more businesses through his investment company. And right by his side the whole time there had been Milton “Mills” Ramsey. Mills was loyal to my brother and probably would’ve put his life on the line for Marco if the situation called for it. I’d always admired that about him because you rarely found people who actually knew the definition of loyalty and exemplified it. Mills had grown up in the same projects as us and came from a similar background.
            My brother was donning a light grey True Religion shirt and light blue True Religion jeans and a vintage pair of cool grey Jordan 11s. Mills was wearing a black Gucci v-neck t-shirt, a pair of black chinos, and a pair of fly ass Italian leather driving shoes. I walked over to the table and Mills was the first to greet me. “What’s up Zaara?” “Nothing Mills, how are you?” “I’m good.” My brother passed me a bottle of Armand de Brignac champagne. Marco and Mills quickly shooed me away as a bevy of hoodrats made their way over to their table. The party was rocking and thirsty ass bitches were all over my brother and Mills. I just shook my head those bitches didn’t even know how pathetic they looked with their cheap ass TJ Maxx Michael Kors bag, Citi Trends dresses, and Rainbow shoes but had on weaves that were $200 or more per bundle. I couldn’t help but mumbled thots under my breath as I shook my head.
            As the night winded down I headed home and got straight in bed. I was beyond exhausted plus I needed to do some studying I had a final that next morning. Why did my ass go to the club on a Thursday night? I was an expert at making terrible life decisions. Later on that night I was cooking dinner for the girls and having a chill session. I pulled my BBQ ribs out of the oven as my girls walked through my front door.
            As we sat down to eat, we started talking about our love lives. Jalynne was happily engaged to her high school sweetheart Aaron, Ashley had a son but wasn’t with her baby daddy but she had a boyfriend though, and Megan and I were single. I updated them on the situation concerning Moe. I had met Moe inside the dentist office. At first he was such a gentleman until he popped at my house without me ever giving him my address. When I asked him how he’d gotten my address he said he’d went through the county tax records until he found my address. The fuck? So I had to dismiss him expeditiously and threatened to get a restraining order if he popped up again. As the wine got us buzzed Megan looked at me and said, “Can I ask you something?” “Yeah girl? “Like have you ever wanted Mills? Because he is fine as fuck.” I burst out laughing, “Girl nah, he’s almost like a brother to me. I remember when that nigga had them nappy ass braids and them jacked up teeth.“ “I don’t know. I just was wondering. Like I think he is fine but I know y’all have always been close. Personally I know I couldn’t be around a man that sexyand not at least think about it.”
            “Nah girl not at all.” But Mills was attractive his skin tone was reminiscent of a Hersey’s chocolate, he had sexy slanted brown eyes, full lips, a close cut Caesar with waves. He was always dressed immaculately. Although he came hard he always carried himself so well like he had the posture of royalty. As my girls left I got back into my books and ended up falling asleep on my couch. I didn’t wake up until I looked and saw my phone ringing it was Marco. “What’s up?” “Nothing, what are you doing after you get out of class tomorrow?” “Getting some rest I’m tired as hell.” “Well before you do that can you do me a favor?  “And what’s that?” “I need you to ride with Mills to pick up my new car and I need you to drive my old one back.” “Ughhh yeah, I can do that.” I hated that Marco always waited until the last minute to ask me to do something.
            By the time I finished with my two finals I was mentally and physically drained. One of my finals was in Organic Chemistry and the other was in Advanced Physics. I felt like my professors had raped me with those exams.I was just glad to be graduating in a few days. I had, had a minute of moment where I wanted to drop out but I knew it wasn’t worth it. As I got to my house, Mills’ was sitting in my driveway in Marco’s black 750. I parked my truck on the street. “What’s up Mills?” “ “Nothing, where we going to get this car from?” “Egerton.” “Egerton!?!? What! That’s like a four and a half hour drive!” “Yeah, I know we good though. It’s the closet he could get them to ship the car to.” “Aight if you say so.”  Marco would send us on a 9 hour round trip for a fucking car that he could have easily got somebody else to pick up. But Marco was funny as hell about his whips and didn’t trust them to just anyone.
 As we got on the interstate I turned on the Sirius and turned to the rap station. Mills lit up and blunt and took a pull and passed it to me. I let the smoke travel through my body and I felt instantly lifted. Mills and I both indulged in weed; it was probably my worst habit. I blew a ring of smoke before I passed the blunt back to Mills. “Damn this shit is good. What is it?” “Shit, I don’t know. Some shit from Cali. I got it from your boy Owen” I rolled my eyes the mention of Owen’s name. We stopped at Cookout to get a tray and got back on the interstate. When we arrived at the car importer that the car car was being delivered to the owner nervously greeted us. His face was beet red. “Hi, are you here to pick up the Maserati for Mr. Gregory?” Mills answered, “Yes we are.” “Well I’m sorry to tell you but it won’t be here for another five to six hours give or take. The delivery truck had some mechanical issues. Do you mind waiting? I am so sorry” I popped my lips it was already quarter till seven. The general manager apologized profusely and offered to comp our dinner. When you spend that kind of money with people they will bend over backwards to keep you satisfied Mills responded, “No it’s no problem at all. We’ll find something to do until then.”
            “Zaara let’s go walk around the mall or something.” I popped my lips again, “Okay.” I had zero tolerance for messiness and these people were messy. Why couldn’t they have called Marco and let them know it was an issue? We went to the mall it was relatively small due to the fact that Egerton was a smaller city. But I could always find something to spend money on, ALWAYS. I went into Bath and Body Works, Victoria Secret, and PacSun and picked up a few things. Mills walked around with me. I could tell I was getting on his nerves. He should’ve asked about me I was the last person you wanted to go to the mall with. It took a lot of patience to ship with me. After that we went to Red Lobster for dinner. As we got back to the dealership, I signed off on the paperwork and the car was ready. I got into Marco’s 750 and Mills got into Marco’s new navy blue Maserati Quattroporte with a peanut butter brown interior. As we got back onto the interstate I already felt sleepy I wasn’t a night driver at all. I rolled down the window hoping the cold air would refresh me and I also turned the music up.
Chapter 2…
            About an hour into the driveI felt the car run over something. I knew instantly that I had a flat tire. I pulled over and I screamed and kicked the passenger side door when I saw it was two flats instead of one. I called Mills, “The Beamer has two flats. I’m about to call triple A, so they can come do whatever they need to do.” Mills circled back on the highway and pulled up behind me a few minutes later. I was holding my arms close to my body because it was kind of chilly. Mills gave me his jacket and inspected the car. “Damn girl what did you hit?” “I don’t know, I think it was a pipe in the middle of the road I didn’t see it until I was right up on it and I couldn’t swerve because a car was beside me.”
            As the tow truck pulled up I was relieved until they told me they would have to tow it. I was hoping they’d be able to patch one of the tires and replace the other one with the spare. Both of the tires were basically shreddeds . They could have towed the car to my house or to the nearest tire place. I told them to just tow it to the nearest tire place and I’d get it straight in the morning because Mills and I both were sleepy we had waited almost two hours for the tow truck and it was almost three in the morning. We decided just to get a room at a cheap motel. I kind of wanted to turn my nose up at the room but I had slept in worst. It looked like the 80s had thrown up in there. We went to the Wal-Mart so I could get some pajamas and some toiletries. Once we got into our room I headed straight for the shower. I put on the oversized Betty Boop sleep shirt. As I walked out of the bathroom I couldn’t help but look at Mills on the bed. All he was wearing was some black baller shorts. His tatted chest was looking right. His body was immaculate. His abs were chiseled and further enhanced his chocolate skin. His pants were draped across the desk chair and his Smith and Wesson 45 pistol was laying on the nightstand. He got up off the bed and moved to the couch in the room. He pointed at the bed and said,“You can have the bed.” I looked at that lumpy looking couch and said, “Nah we can share it. That couch looks hard as fuck.” He looked at me skeptically. “You sure?” “Yeah, I’m sure. It’s not that serious.” “Aight yo, just don’t be farting and shit. All them damn cheese biscuits your greedy ass ate.” I laughed and hit him in the face with a pillow. I crawled into bed and buried myself under the covers. Mills cut off the light. “You sure you want to share the bed?” “I’m sure. If it wasn’t cool I would have told your ass to sleep on that raggedy ass couch. Goodnight!” Mills didn’t even get under the covers. I hope he wasn’t that damn scared of me.
            I drifted off to sleep but I suddenly I woke up screaming at the top of my lungs. I know I’d scared the hell out of Mills. He sprung up in bed and instinctively reached for his gun. “What the fuck! You good? “Yeah, I’m good. I just have bad dreams sometimes.” Saying these dreams were bad was an understatement; I had suffered from night terrors basically my whole life. It was so bad when I was little I’d piss the bed. I got up and sat on the edge of the bed, “I’m good.” “You sure?” Mills asked as he gently touched my thigh. He withdrew it soon as he realized what he’d done. He put his head down and said, “My bad.”  I waved my hand dismissively. “Nah you’re good.” I said as I looked into his eyes, his soft hand felt so good on my thigh.
            Desire snuck up on me quickly. I’d never noticed how beautiful and warm his eyes were. He had the kind of eyes you could get lost in for days. I placed his hands back on my thigh. As Mills looked at me he bit his succulent bottom lip. My heart was pounding out of my chest in anticipation. Was I about to go through with this? Damn right I was! If I wanted something I always went for it and at this very moment I wanted Mills. Before my common sense could prevail and my nerce was gone I leaned towards him and started kissing him. I slowly pushed him back on the bed and straddled him. I thought he was going to stop me but instead he reached up my sleep shirt and grabbed my soft ass. Oh shit! He slid my panties to the side and felt my pussy. He gave me a mischievous grin as he realized how wet I was. He ripped my black lace panties off and pushed me onto the bed. He was aggressive and I loved it. I love when a man knew when and how to take control. I looked into his eyes and I could see the craving. Mills got on top of me and started kissing on my chest and stomach.

            I bit my lip in longing as I saw the print of his dick through the clingy material of his shorts. God had taken no shortcuts when he’d made Mills. I was alarmed when the look on his face suddenly changed from lust to shock.  Mills got off and me and ran his hands across his face and stepped away from the bed. “What’ wrong, Mills?” “Zaara we can’t do this. Your brother trust me with his life. I can’t fuck him over like this. I can’t do that shit.” I thought about it and Mills was right. A slight feeling of guilt come over me. I pulled the cover over me and Mills got on the couch and turned his back to me. The next morning an awkward silence hung in the air as we left so I could go to the tire place to get Marco’s tires replaced. Mills didn’t even make eye contact with me as he dropped me off. He didn’t even say bye he just told me to be safe on my drive back.  He was so uneasy around me I actually felt kind of embarrassed.


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