The Honey Hive

The HELL in HELLo, the GOOD in GOODbye By: Honey My ex is like one of those memes that gives you a finite amount of money to create your perfect man (nice smile=$2, tall=$3, smart=$3, kind=$1, ambition=$1). He was everything I thought I wanted in a man look wise and goal wise. I cared for him and in his own way he cared for me as well. However, for what he had in looks, charm, and ambition he lacked in humility and sincerity. Finally after months of pushing and pulling I consciously decided it was time to move on. I cut him off completely (no calls, no text, unfriended/unfollowed on all social media). I didn’t reach out and neither did he. For a while it hurt but the pain was mild in comparison to the agony of being in limbo with somebody who wasn’t willing to change.

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Thinking of SANDRA “Well, if you don’t want a negative interaction with the police don’t do anything criminal.” Every time I hear or see this statement I roll my eyes to the back of my head and count to ten before I snap. Some people really think it’s that easy to avoid adverse reactions with the police and yes, for some people it is.             As I look at the video of Sandra Bland’s arrest I think back to the summer of 2013 and my own negative interaction with the police. I attended college in a rural and some would say desolate corner of North Carolina that borders the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. Often times when I needed certain items I would have to travel to nearby Chesapeake, VA to get them.

No, Love Doesn’t Hurt (& it doesn’t get jealous either) By: Honey 4  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  5  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  6  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  7  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV) First things first I’m single. This is by choice and most certainly not by force. Whenever I meet a man I’m interested in I give him the “Corinthians Test” as I like to call it. I replace the word “love” in the above” bible verse with his name and if I can’t say those things are truth of him them he isn’t the one, point blank period. I recently started doing this after a post I saw on Facebook. But I digress.             Last week I got a call from a close friend; she was distraught and in tears. To hear her in such a state really broke my heart

Yeah, You Can Fly. But Are You Grounded? (what means the world to u?) By: Honey, The Writer Two things define you: Your patience when you have nothing and your attitude when you have everything.  – Unknown When I graduated high school I did so in the top 5 of my class. I had been voted most likely to succeed amongst other superlatives. I was on my way to North Carolina A&T where I would be studying Biology with a Pre-Med track. My goal was to become an oncologist that focused on the care of breast and ovarian cancer in minority women in underserved communities. I was well on my way!             Fast forward to two years later. I was a college dropout with a newborn living back at home. I had no friends, I have little money, and I had little self-esteem. I was embarrassed and down right discouraged.   This was a very humbling experience for me. But it was also a time that I learned no matter how high you fly you must stay grounded.

I Am Not A Martyr (i don’t need charity/sympathy) By: Honey, The Writer martyr:  a   person   who   undergoes   severe   or   constant  suffering:   I had my daughter before I was even old enough to legally drink. And you know what? I don’t regret. But no, I wouldn’t recommend young parenthood to anyone; it’s not easy. However, I have been abundantly blessed because I have a village and through the help of my village I have been able to bring many of my goals to fruition and without them these would have been but dreams deferred.

Ride or Die? Or Riding Dumb?        By: Honey, The Writer I know you’ve heard of the term “ride or die” chick. But where do you draw the line between ride or die and just plan stupid. Personally I have a few questions. Where are we riding? Why do I have to die? When I think of ride or die I think of a woman that is down for her man through thick and thin. If she’s got it he’s got it and she supports him when he’s up or when he’s down. I think of Barack and Michelle (when he picked her up for their first day in the 80s he was driving a hoopty with no floorboard). I think of other couples that he may not have Jay-Z’s money, Idris’ good looks, or Omari’s swag but they are happy and they make it work.

No, I Don’t Want To Chill By: Honey, The Writer So here’s the scenario: late last year one of my high school classmates reached out to me and wanted to take me out to dinner. I agreed because I'm seldom one to turn down a free meal (I put free in italics for a reason). Our date went fine. A few days later he asked if I minded if he came over to my house to chill. I said sure. I turned on an episode of Survivor’s Remorse, a 30-minute comedy that airs on Starz. About 15 minutes in I could tell he was agitated so I asked him what was wrong. He said nothing and that he had to leave. About an hour later he texted me and said, I thought we were going to fuck. I mean that’s what chill means right. Hol’ on, bish whet? Needless to say I lost his number.

So Where’s My Happy Ending?   By: Honey, The Writer So you’ve prayed, you’ve fasted, you’ve cried, and then you prayed some more but what you want still hasn’t come to fruition. You’ve read every relationship book under the sun but you still haven’t attracted Mr. Right. But it seems like your news feed and timeline are full of happy couples. Things like this can cause you to have a crisis of faith and question where exactly is your happy ending. Honestly this is exactly where I am currently in my life’s journey.