The HELL in HELLo, the GOOD in GOODbye
My ex is like one of those memes that gives you a finite amount of money to create your perfect man (nice smile=$2, tall=$3, smart=$3, kind=$1, ambition=$1). He was everything I thought I wanted in a man look wise and goal wise. I cared for him and in his own way he cared for me as well. However, for what he had in looks, charm, and ambition he lacked in humility and sincerity. Finally after months of pushing and pulling I consciously decided it was time to move on. I cut him off completely (no calls, no text, unfriended/unfollowed on all social media). I didn’t reach out and neither did he. For a while it hurt but the pain was mild in comparison to the agony of being in limbo with somebody who wasn’t willing to change.
Eventually he relented and reached out to me wanting to closure (Why had I just cut him off? What were “we”?). I assured him there was no malice on my part but it was in my best interest that I fell back. Quite frankly I’m in transition in my life and the time I have to give to anyone let alone a romantic interest is quite limited and I’m done cheating myself to treat someone else. However, I did take him up on his offer to go out to dinner. During dinner he had his charm on 1000 and made it clear he still wanted me in his life but I read between the lines and realized he wanted me in his life on his terms not ones we could mutually agree on. So in that moment I knew it was time for me to say goodbye and mean it. We’d gone as far as we were meant to go.
Some people that come into our lives are temporary. They are there only to teach you a lesson. They aren’t meant to stay no matter how much we’d like for them to do so. We have to learn when someone has served this purpose in our lives and be wise enough to let them go when they’ve done so. I’m not saying that everyone that comes into our lives has an expiration date. Some people are meant for us to build meaningful things with. But it is up to us know the difference between seasonal and perennial people in our lives.
We must all learn how to embrace the end of temporary relationships and friendships; don’t be bitter, don’t be sad, and don’t be upset. No matter how bad a relationship was there is always something you can take away from it to augment your growth as a person. For example what I took away from my ex is sometimes what you think you want isn’t what you actually need. On the outside he was what I wanted but spiritually he left me famished he didn’t nurture my spirit he didn’t help me to grow as a woman. I could easily look at our relationship with bitter eyes and say that I wasted my time. Time is never wasted if you learned something from it.
And remember it’s not the end of the world and there is always light at the end of the tunnel. When we let go of what was we are opening ourselves up to what is and what is will be always be better than what was. We must learn how to use discernment and learn to protect our hearts from those whose never meant well for us in the first place. Listen to you heart and if your heart steers you wrong just remember to take a lesson from this situation and move on with renewed hope.
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