True Life: I’m Ugly (But That’s Okay and I’ll Tell You Why)
Your self-worth has nothing to do with your craft or calling, and everything to do with how you treat yourself.
I’m ugly not hideous but I’m unattractive. (I'm pretty sure people who know me personally that are reading this are shaking their heads) When I say this I don’t say it because I want people to tell me I’m beautiful, cute, or pretty. I don’t fish for compliments; needy people do that. Being ugly does not bother me because my self-worth is not tied to my looks. Although I’m not very attractive I’m intelligent, I’m kind, and I’m ambitious in other words I’ll always land on my feet, one way or another.
On the approval driven cesspool known as Instagram there is a page entitled “Greek Shenanigans”, a page that specializes in all things petty concerning Black Greek Letter Organizations, a page that I followed to get a laugh at the expense of other organizations and from time-to-time my own. One day they initiated a rating game. I don’t do that kind of thing because I’m ugly and I don’t crave outside approval. However, somehow someway my picture ended up on the page and the upstanding and outstanding brothers of Alpha Phi Alpha, Kappa Alpha Psi, Omega Psi Phi, Sigma Phi Beta, and I’m sure a few members of Iota Phi Theta proceeded to rip my picture apart. I think the highest rating I received was a 4. It hurt not only because I had no opted to participate but it only reinforced what I already believed about myself. Sure, we shouldn’t care about what others think of us. But in areas of our lives that we already deficient a blow can be devastating because it reinforces what we already think about ourselves. For instance if someone already thinks they’re fat hearing someone else say it is going to reinforce it hearing someone say they’re skinny will not have the same impact.
But I digress I know I’m ugly and as time passes it is beginning to bother me less and less. Being a preteen when boys for started taking interests in girls were hard, going through high school when everybody wants to date was hard, and college was even harder. During those years I was told I was ugly or attractive repeatedly, implicitly or explicitly. But by the time my collegiate years came to an end I realized looks wouldn’t get me through the door. I came to realize that the things I’m a good person whom has been blessed with many talents that I can use to bless and uplift others. I have a story to tell that came help others. I’m resilient; I can deal with disappointment and move forward with grace. I’m intelligent and my intelligence has taken me places a pretty face never could. I’m ambitious; I work hard and I go after what I want in life and eventually I get it.
There is nothing wrong with being less than attractive in an aesthetic sense. Everyone cannot be outwardly appealing but at the end of the day what matters is your spirit and your resilience. My value of self is not linked to my looks. Even though I am not attractive I love me and I treat myself exceedingly well because looks aren’t everything. Me saying that I am ugly or unattractive isn’t me taking a shot at my self-worth because my worth transcends my physicality. What I’m trying to say is that your self-worth shouldn’t be grounded in your looks. It should be grounded in your intrinsic qualities not something as fleeting as how you look because looks soon do fade or can quickly be snatched away in an accident or tragedy. Find your footing in something other than your physical appearance. Love yourself and know where your true beauty lies.
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