You're Good, He's Just Not Ready

You’re Good, He’s Just Not Ready
By: Ryan D. Daniels

Originally posted August 29, 2016

Before going any further with this piece commit this phrase to memory: You are never good enough for a man that isn’t ready.

So girl, what’s up? What’s wrong with you? I mean you’re smart, you’re pretty, you can cook, you gave him some soul-snatching sex, you are the total package but yet he isn’t ready.

The conversation may have went a little bit like this:

You: "Hey, so we've been kicking it for a minute. I'm into you and I can tell you're into me too. I wouldn't mind us being exclusive."
Him: "I mean you're a good girl. You're cool, I like you. But I'm not ready for a relationship right now." 

Understand this you can have all the characteristics I listed plus some but if a man isn’t ready he isn’t ready. Your positive attributes hold no weight to a man that isn’t ready. Why isn’t he ready?

I’m a woman so I do not proclaim to “think” like a man. However, I have the privilege of having some real male friends who keep it 100 with me and I asked them what being ready for a relationship looks like to them. The answers varied but many of the issues centered on them being stable (i.e. financially, emotionally, or otherwise). A real man believes in being a provider and a source of stability for his woman. A real man knows that he cannot be these things if he is not stable and he is not going to drag a good woman along until he figures himself out and gets on solid footing.

Another reason men might not be ready is they are still out here chasing the cat and they don’t want to mess a good woman up because they are still out here sowing their wild oats.

And lastly, another reason men will say they are not ready is because quite frankly they may be ready but just not ready for you. This isn’t to say there is anything wrong with you but everything ain’t for everybody. Some people think Applebee’s actually taste good and they eat there on purpose, so there’s that.

So I’ve said all of that to say this. If he says he isn’t ready, move on and don’t take his inability or unwillingness to commit as a sign that there is something wrong with you. Some men genuinely aren’t ready. Why sell yourself short and wear your heart and spirits down waiting for something that may never come?

Maybe one day he’ll be ready, maybe won’t day he won’t but don’t you wait around waiting for him to be ready. Don’t waste your time. I’m sure there is that one guy who seems like the perfect catch but if he was the perfect catch for you your ideas for each other would be in line and if there not move on.


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