By: Ryan D. Daniels Originally posted August 29, 2016
Before going any further with this
piece commit this phrase to memory: You are never good enough for a man that
So girl, what’s up? What’s wrong
with you? I mean you’re smart, you’re pretty, you can cook, you gave him some
soul-snatching sex, you are the total package but yet he isn’t ready.
The conversation may have went a little bit like this:
You: "Hey, so we've been kicking it for a minute. I'm into you and I can tell you're into me too. I wouldn't mind us being exclusive."
Him: "I mean you're a good girl. You're cool, I like you. But I'm not ready for a relationship right now."
Understand this you can have all the
characteristics I listed plus some but if a man isn’t ready he isn’t ready.
Your positive attributes hold no weight to a man that isn’t ready. Why isn’t he
I’m a woman so I do not proclaim to
“think” like a man. However, I have the privilege of having some real male
friends who keep it 100 with me and I asked them what being ready for a
relationship looks like to them. The answers varied but many of the issues
centered on them being stable (i.e. financially, emotionally, or otherwise). A
real man believes in being a provider and a source of stability for his woman.
A real man knows that he cannot be these things if he is not stable and he is
not going to drag a good woman along until he figures himself out and gets on
Another reason men might not be
ready is they are still out here chasing the cat and they don’t want to mess a
good woman up because they are still out here sowing their wild oats.
And lastly, another reason men will
say they are not ready is because quite frankly they may be ready but just not
ready for you. This isn’t to say there is anything wrong with you but
everything ain’t for everybody. Some people think Applebee’s actually taste
good and they eat there on purpose, so there’s that.
So I’ve said all of that to say
this. If he says he isn’t ready, move on and don’t take his inability or
unwillingness to commit as a sign that there is something wrong with you. Some
men genuinely aren’t ready. Why sell yourself short and wear your heart and
spirits down waiting for something that may never come?
Maybe one day he’ll be ready, maybe
won’t day he won’t but don’t you wait around waiting for him to be ready. Don’t waste your time. I’m sure
there is that one guy who seems like the perfect catch but if he was the
perfect catch for you your ideas for each other would be in line and if there
not move on.
Don’t Be Me: The 8 Dating Mistakes I MadeBy: Ryan D. Daniels My grandma is an extremely wise woman and one of her favorite adages that she reminds me of when I’m beating myself up is, “Hindsight is 20/20.” Meaning we can always look back and see exactly where we messed up at. In all honesty, I have not had the greatest luck in love. Yes, some of the blame belongs with the men. But a lot of it belongs with me. I decided to take two years off from dating so I could take stock of where I continued to make mistakes in my dating and love life. I seek to write to help people avoid the mistakes I’ve made and here we go. My 8 Mistakes1) Involving with myself with unemotionally unavailable, uninterested men, or men who only wanted to play games. This was a big one. For some reason, I constantly chose me who made it clear they weren’t with it. My ego thought I could win them over or that I could change their mind. Do not just listen to what a man says you also need to watch what he does and if th…
Self-Care Ain’t Chocolate, Wine, and Retail TherapyBy: Ryan D. Daniels Chocolate, a whole bottle of red wine, and a trip to the mall are so often classified as “self-care”. However, they are not the only way to take care of yourself and to treat yourself well. Here are a few more ways we may not consider when it comes to living our best lives.
The One (Sure) Sign He Is Into You By: Ryan D. Daniels I started to write a list of signs that a man is into you but I decided to keep it short and sweet. I decided to avoid rehashing the numerous “How To Know a Guy Is Into You” List. I was able to boil it down to one sure sign a man is into you. Here’s the scene: a man and a woman are sitting on a couch watching some random movie on Netflix. They’ve been on a few dates, she’s really feeling him and he’s really feeling her. They text and talk on a daily basis; she’s a bit nervous but she finally parts her lips and ask him, “What are we?”