By: Ryan D. Daniels Originally posted August 29, 2016
Before going any further with this
piece commit this phrase to memory: You are never good enough for a man that
So girl, what’s up? What’s wrong
with you? I mean you’re smart, you’re pretty, you can cook, you gave him some
soul-snatching sex, you are the total package but yet he isn’t ready.
The conversation may have went a little bit like this:
You: "Hey, so we've been kicking it for a minute. I'm into you and I can tell you're into me too. I wouldn't mind us being exclusive."
Him: "I mean you're a good girl. You're cool, I like you. But I'm not ready for a relationship right now."
Understand this you can have all the
characteristics I listed plus some but if a man isn’t ready he isn’t ready.
Your positive attributes hold no weight to a man that isn’t ready. Why isn’t he
I’m a woman so I do not proclaim to
“think” like a man. However, I have the privilege of having some real male
friends who keep it 100 with me and I asked them what being ready for a
relationship looks like to them. The answers varied but many of the issues
centered on them being stable (i.e. financially, emotionally, or otherwise). A
real man believes in being a provider and a source of stability for his woman.
A real man knows that he cannot be these things if he is not stable and he is
not going to drag a good woman along until he figures himself out and gets on
Another reason men might not be
ready is they are still out here chasing the cat and they don’t want to mess a
good woman up because they are still out here sowing their wild oats.
And lastly, another reason men will
say they are not ready is because quite frankly they may be ready but just not
ready for you. This isn’t to say there is anything wrong with you but
everything ain’t for everybody. Some people think Applebee’s actually taste
good and they eat there on purpose, so there’s that.
So I’ve said all of that to say
this. If he says he isn’t ready, move on and don’t take his inability or
unwillingness to commit as a sign that there is something wrong with you. Some
men genuinely aren’t ready. Why sell yourself short and wear your heart and
spirits down waiting for something that may never come?
Maybe one day he’ll be ready, maybe
won’t day he won’t but don’t you wait around waiting for him to be ready. Don’t waste your time. I’m sure
there is that one guy who seems like the perfect catch but if he was the
perfect catch for you your ideas for each other would be in line and if there
not move on.
Fair & Foul Part IFair & Foul Part II FAIR & FOUL PART III De’Andre Hicks should’ve been drafted number one in the professional football league draft. However, due to an injury caused by a traumatic accident that still haunts him he dropped to the last round of draft after missing almost a whole season. He finds his place with the back-to-back national champions the Carolina Cougars but his competition for the starting position is the best albeit most troubled wide receivers in the league, Jay’Von Riddick. All De’Andre wants to do is provide a better life for his mother and to be able to give his girlfriend, Alana, the things that she deserves as she sacrifices to support his dreams. Will De’Andre succeed? Or will he be left to wonder “what if”? Alana Mitchell is smart, ambiguous, and beautiful and she knew she loved De’Andre the first time on the campus of Florida Technical University. Alana is following in the footsteps of her father, a successful corporate attor…
Self-Care Ain’t Chocolate, Wine, and Retail TherapyBy: Ryan D. Daniels Chocolate, a whole bottle of red wine, and a trip to the mall are so often classified as “self-care”. However, they are not the only way to take care of yourself and to treat yourself well. Here are a few more ways we may not consider when it comes to living our best lives.
The Mis-Entitlement of Black Menand the Miseducation of Black Women By: Ryan D. Daniels I’m going to preface everything I’m about to say by saying I love black men. If it weren’t for a black man I wouldn’t exist. HOWEVER, I believe in calling BS when I see it. A few years ago one of my Facebook friends, Val, recommended that all of the black women on her friends’ list read a book called “Is Marriage for White People” by Ralph Richard Banks. The title piqued my interest and I copped a cheap used copy off of Amazon. The book arrived during my Thanksgiving break and I had nothing else to do so I started reading the book and from a few pages in I was hooked and shook. I realized that the odds for highly educated upwardly mobile black women who want to marry an equally educated black man are bleak to say the least. The book confirmed some of the hunches I have had for years about dating as an educated black women who have only dealt with black men.And I have blogged about this in the past.