By: Ryan D. Daniels Originally posted August 29, 2016
Before going any further with this
piece commit this phrase to memory: You are never good enough for a man that
So girl, what’s up? What’s wrong
with you? I mean you’re smart, you’re pretty, you can cook, you gave him some
soul-snatching sex, you are the total package but yet he isn’t ready.
The conversation may have went a little bit like this:
You: "Hey, so we've been kicking it for a minute. I'm into you and I can tell you're into me too. I wouldn't mind us being exclusive."
Him: "I mean you're a good girl. You're cool, I like you. But I'm not ready for a relationship right now."
Understand this you can have all the
characteristics I listed plus some but if a man isn’t ready he isn’t ready.
Your positive attributes hold no weight to a man that isn’t ready. Why isn’t he
I’m a woman so I do not proclaim to
“think” like a man. However, I have the privilege of having some real male
friends who keep it 100 with me and I asked them what being ready for a
relationship looks like to them. The answers varied but many of the issues
centered on them being stable (i.e. financially, emotionally, or otherwise). A
real man believes in being a provider and a source of stability for his woman.
A real man knows that he cannot be these things if he is not stable and he is
not going to drag a good woman along until he figures himself out and gets on
Another reason men might not be
ready is they are still out here chasing the cat and they don’t want to mess a
good woman up because they are still out here sowing their wild oats.
And lastly, another reason men will
say they are not ready is because quite frankly they may be ready but just not
ready for you. This isn’t to say there is anything wrong with you but
everything ain’t for everybody. Some people think Applebee’s actually taste
good and they eat there on purpose, so there’s that.
So I’ve said all of that to say
this. If he says he isn’t ready, move on and don’t take his inability or
unwillingness to commit as a sign that there is something wrong with you. Some
men genuinely aren’t ready. Why sell yourself short and wear your heart and
spirits down waiting for something that may never come?
Maybe one day he’ll be ready, maybe
won’t day he won’t but don’t you wait around waiting for him to be ready. Don’t waste your time. I’m sure
there is that one guy who seems like the perfect catch but if he was the
perfect catch for you your ideas for each other would be in line and if there
not move on.
Don’t Be Me: The 8 Dating Mistakes I MadeBy: Ryan D. Daniels My grandma is an extremely wise woman and one of her favorite adages that she reminds me of when I’m beating myself up is, “Hindsight is 20/20.” Meaning we can always look back and see exactly where we messed up at. In all honesty, I have not had the greatest luck in love. Yes, some of the blame belongs with the men. But a lot of it belongs with me. I decided to take two years off from dating so I could take stock of where I continued to make mistakes in my dating and love life. I seek to write to help people avoid the mistakes I’ve made and here we go. My 8 Mistakes1) Involving with myself with unemotionally unavailable, uninterested men, or men who only wanted to play games. This was a big one. For some reason, I constantly chose me who made it clear they weren’t with it. My ego thought I could win them over or that I could change their mind. Do not just listen to what a man says you also need to watch what he does and if th…
Why I Stopped
Auditioning By: Ryan D. Daniels Originally posted on September 24, 2016 A man wants a woman who
has her own, a woman who can cook, a woman who keeps herself up, a woman who is
this, a woman who is that. At one point in time I saw myself at least in a
happy and stable relationship by the time I was 25. Every time I became halfway
serious with a guy I started auditioning for the wife role—cooking and doing
whatever in between to make him realize I was the “one”. However, as my 26th
birthday draws nigh I realized something the man who is meant for me isn’t
going to need for me to audition.
Foreword to "To Live, Learn, and Die in Halifax Co.":
I am a lifestyle writer not a journalist. I normally write about funny stuff: love, life, and a laughter. I like making people laugh not think; I leave that to serious people. When I posted this essay it wasn't to attack anyone and it wasn't to be attacked or chided in return. Normally my posts get about 100 views in a couple of weeks but within two hours of me posting this piece it had over 1000 views. Let me be clear, I am not an expert on schools, I am not an expert on taxation, I am not an expert on the finances of Halifax County. However, anyone with two eyes can look around and see that Halifax County is SUFFERING. I wrote this piece because I have seen the effects that our piss poor schools have had on my generation and all subsequent generations. I spoke about my grandmother's work ethic and her desire to see her children do better not to focus on her parenting. It was to focus on the fact that the text…